Writing Topic 2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Brainstorm
I diagree because
1. they tend to divorce these days---Yoshie
2. kids are rised by the way that the parents want ---Mio, Ryo
3. parents only by themselves can't give enough education to their kids--General
Teachers are people who give us advanced knowledge than we already have and sometimes give us a hint to change our lives to better good. Parents are the first teachers that we meet in our lives, but we can't say that they are always the best. Therefor I disagree to the given statement that says "Parents are the best teachers."
In resent Japanese society, women have been able to get a lot of oppotunities to get a job. So women have been able to think what they want to do in their live becouse they have been able to earn enough money by themselves to discuss about their possibilities. That's one of the reasons that we can see much more devorced parents these days than we used to. If they have children, a devorce could have bad effects to their children. One of my friend's parent got devorced when she was 6 years old, that was why she couldn't depend on to their parents as a child because they had their problem already at that time and the fact made her to be too strong that she could. And that is why she still has personal problems to make good relationships with other people.
I read books about anorexia. Anorexia is a disease that makes you unable to eat because of your mental problems. In all books, it is said that most of all cases of this disease's cause is his or her (who is suffered from this disease) parent. It is also said that parent's too much expectation to their child and not recognize it as a big problem to their children's mental development tend to lead their children to be mental patient and sometime to be anorexia. In these case, what did change their lives and made them to be able to spend their live nomally was, it is depend on the cases, his or her wife and husband, thier friends and doctors who treated them.
There is a famous story about Albert Einsten. His school teacher gave him bad grades because of his strange answers in classes but her mother believed in his possibility and let him learn whatever he wants to. And that is one of the things that led him to become one of the greatest physicists in the world. By this story, we can see that his mother was his best supporter, but not the best teacher.
The best teacher is different from each others. Sometime that would be their teachers, their friends and peaple that they know. I disagree to the given statement
Brainstorm
I diagree because
1. they tend to divorce these days---Yoshie
2. kids are rised by the way that the parents want ---Mio, Ryo
3. parents only by themselves can't give enough education to their kids--General
Teachers are people who give us advanced knowledge than we already have and sometimes give us a hint to change our lives to better good. Parents are the first teachers that we meet in our lives, but we can't say that they are always the best. Therefor I disagree to the given statement that says "Parents are the best teachers."
In resent Japanese society, women have been able to get a lot of oppotunities to get a job. So women have been able to think what they want to do in their live becouse they have been able to earn enough money by themselves to discuss about their possibilities. That's one of the reasons that we can see much more devorced parents these days than we used to. If they have children, a devorce could have bad effects to their children. One of my friend's parent got devorced when she was 6 years old, that was why she couldn't depend on to their parents as a child because they had their problem already at that time and the fact made her to be too strong that she could. And that is why she still has personal problems to make good relationships with other people.
I read books about anorexia. Anorexia is a disease that makes you unable to eat because of your mental problems. In all books, it is said that most of all cases of this disease's cause is his or her (who is suffered from this disease) parent. It is also said that parent's too much expectation to their child and not recognize it as a big problem to their children's mental development tend to lead their children to be mental patient and sometime to be anorexia. In these case, what did change their lives and made them to be able to spend their live nomally was, it is depend on the cases, his or her wife and husband, thier friends and doctors who treated them.
There is a famous story about Albert Einsten. His school teacher gave him bad grades because of his strange answers in classes but her mother believed in his possibility and let him learn whatever he wants to. And that is one of the things that led him to become one of the greatest physicists in the world. By this story, we can see that his mother was his best supporter, but not the best teacher.
The best teacher is different from each others. Sometime that would be their teachers, their friends and peaple that they know. I disagree to the given statement
posted by yoko at
11:20 PM
2 Comments:
Teachers are people who give us advanced knowledge and lead us to better lives. As a child, parents are our first teachers, but it is hard to say that they are best at that. Some parents divorce and forget to teach their child how to love and support a family; some are too stubborn to admit to their child's mental illness. Therefor, I disagree that parents make the best teachers for children.
In resent Japanese society, women are allowed to work outside of home. Therefore, women have been able to feel independent, and pursue their own careerer without carrying the burden of being a wife and a mom. That's one of the main reason that we see more divorced parents today . Often times, children who's parents have divorced often suffer from emotional problems. For example, TonarinoToToRo, a friend of mine, is a child who cannot make good friends. Her parents have been divorced since she was 6 years old, and early in life she learned not to depend on her parents. That lead her to mature in short period of time, and also in loosing her childhood. In the particularly, socializing with friends. As seen in her case, parents did not make the best teacher. Not because they didn't teach her math or writing, but because they were not able to teach her the life lesson that could have been the key success to her life.
Another example is Mio Morioka, my classmate. She is diagnosed with anorexia. Since I've known her, I've been reading a lot about this disease. Anorexia is a disease that makes you unable to eat because of your mental problems. In all books, it is said that most of all cases of this disease is cause by his or her (who is suffered from this disease) parent. It is also said that parents have too much expectation of their child and not recognize the bigger problem to their child's mental health. In this case, what could have been the child's turning point in getting better treatment was for the parents to acknowledge the problem. Unfortunately they were not able to give Mio the emotional support she needed, and therefore still suffers from this disease. If only parents were able to accept their child's problem and teach her that life problem was part of being able to go through life, it could of made her a stronger and a confident person.
In contrast, there is a famous story about Albert Einstein. His school teacher gave him bad grades because of his strange answers in classes but her mother believed in his possibility and let him learn whatever he wanted to. And that is one of the things that led him to become one of the greatest physicists in the world. By this story, we can see that his mother was his best supporter. Although Einstein was not taught math or writing by his mother, but was able to expand his knowledge about science because he had a parent who believed in him.
It's true that there are different ways to be the best teacher. Nevertheless, parents do not make the best teachers because they often care about themselves and forget to care about their child.
This is JUST an example. You are not expected to write it this way.
GOODs:
1) You have a thesis.
2) You restated the thesis in the conclusion.
3) Good strong examples
4) Good introduction
5) Overall it made sense!
TIPs:
1) Don't just jump into the next paragraph so quickly. Make it so that the paragraphs flows.
2)When talking about the friend with her parent's divorce, your setences didn't relate how her parent's divorce had to do with Japanese society story. Try to link the stories. Did her parents divorce because her mom wanted to be a carrer-woman? Or other reasons?
3) The third paragraph about Einsteins wasn't a strong point. If it was written as, Einstein mother was not very well educated therefore not able to teach her son about science her self, but was there to support him and allowing him to receive a good education, that might have been a better point.
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